Bucket of suck just about sums it up. What clever, sarcastic metaphor could we come up with for February. 

Human nature or nature human

Branches of bronchioles

Pockets of alveloi

Reaching through the air

Grabbing the oxygen

You are my sunshine ☀️

If I said this was the worst winter ever in the history of all mankind, would you think me dramatic? Do I care? I mean, really, what kind of person doesn't complain about a straight week of sub freezing temperatures and the incessant need to keep snowing. Enough is enough. The only saving grace we have here in Colorado is that the clouds blow away often enough that the sun reminds us that we're human and can actually make it through another night of single digits. 

So, I hate cold and snow, but I'm sure glad the sun decided to show up today. 

I think Alaska is to blame, this time

The temperature could triple and it would still be below freezing. Yes, I'm bitching. 

It's hard enough to feel human when it's dark at 5 pm, but couple that with an arctic blast and one turns to ridiculous activities, like cooking. 

Cooking has always been classified as a waste of time in my master book of classification. All that effort, ingredients, and the food may or may not be decent and the voila, several hours later it all gets flushed. 

Today, in the inhuman cold, I chose to make some baked ziti. I'd been thinking about this for a few weeks and had some ingredients, like natural Italian sausage, mushrooms, zucchini, spinach, and of course sauce, noodles and well, I always have loads of cheese. So what that the recipe called for spices and herbs, I don't supply those types of things, you know, items that give food taste.  

So I mixed it all together, baked for a while and here's what I got ...

Eleven bland meals. (I ate one before the packaging began)

Now, my other flaw is that I'm a super cheap ass and I invested a bunch of money, time and food items shall not go to waste, so I will force every one of these bland meals down my own throat. 

Watch out kids, your teacher is going to be a bit crabby after lunch. 

Start Fresh

Is it sad that I want a colon cleanse for my birthday?

I've been trying out my new age for about a month now. I have been slipping it into conversations at a quite frequent level. At school I'll say things like, hey kids, I may be 42, but I still need to annotate this problem before I begin solving. Or something like, what are you whining about the cold for? I'm 42.

As the weeks dwindle and the actual day approaches I started to think, hey, am I 42 now? Am I going to be 43? Wait, how old am I? Yup, tell me about it.

Usually with trial periods you just stick with what you got, and I suppose I can do that, stick with 42. It's hard to think about much else other than not freezing to death. Thanks Colorado, for keeping my mind off my birthday and on keeping my blood from freezing in my veins.

Wild wheat dog

I spend most of my day feeling like I don't belong. My brain races with inappropriate thoughts, and although most people think I'm blunt, I keep most of my ideas tucked inside this sphere of bone. There is one thing that I do that I feel completely at peace. Hiking. Being outside. Surrounded by nature. It's only better with my dog.

Today I bundled up and headed to an old damn, that is now a path, and the lake a golf course. Beyond the golf course I noticed a sort of path and decided to let Fresa illegally off leash in the grass.

This area of the city is up high. The views incredible and forever. As I walked down the path I came to a sign that describes this area as a reclaimed landfill. Interesting. No digging please. Well, that would explain those vent pipes sticking out over there. Releasing methane?

As I walked north, the sun behind me, I was mesmerized by the swirling darkness.

The dipping spouts. Huh, is this tornado weather? The wind was whipping. I looked around for a low spot, a ditch, just in case. My thoughts were, well, if this is the time to go, let's go. I did have an image of Fresa and I being swept up in the funnel and dropping somewhere not too distant. 

I've heard coyotes around here before, so I was conscience of that as I let Fresa run around.

Her wheat fur matching the wheat colored grasses of the plains. We wandered for an hour or so and the feeling of freedom, energy, life surrounded me. I need to hike every day. 

Coal burning times

It's 10 degrees with a wind chill of -5, and if anyone mentions how much they like winter and snow I'm going to punch them in the face. This is miserable. Grey skies, light snow, yes that is beautiful - for about 10 minutes looking out the window and then the realization of - I have to do something - enters your head and now what. Luckily I can walk to the grocery store, even in this blistering cold, it's better than driving on the roads. Apparently the salt/chemical mixture doesn't work at these temperatures, no wonder they don't put anything down.

I think Fresa might understand that we can't go out an play. Yesterday I bundled her up, boots and all and after she pooped, she put on the brakes and wouldn't take another step, unless it was turning back towards the house.

I'm trying to coax her along, but no deal. She hates her boots, but no dog's paws should touch the subfreezing pavement. I guess we'll hunker down and wait for the chill to leave...

la luna en el invierno

When the going gets rough and you're about to loose all hope, turn to science. Have you ever wondered why, well in North America, our December moon is so amazing? I walked out into my tiny dirt yard last night and saw this

The stunning, huge rock, all lit up from the reflection of the sun, but what is happening?

Winter is amazing, minus the cold, that is not so amazing.

She's gonna need a snowsuit

This morning we woke up to 4 degrees Fahrenheit and cloudy, dreary, snowy skies. I figured I'd get out early and try get some exercise for me and the pooch. We drove to the dog park a few miles from my house and this is what we walked into.

Eff this, we are braving this cold. I had a long sleeve shirt, a light down coat, a fleece vest and a snow shell, and my new boots. Fresa had her double fleece, and her snow boots. We rushed to the gate of the park to find that is was completely, and utterly empty. Ok, so maybe this wasn't such a good idea. A few minutes later a lab/ridgeback puppy came and jumped all over Fresa, who was none too happy to be there. She decided to stand in the middle of the park and shiver, uncontrollable shivering. She looks so pathetic. 

Ok, so she's Dominican, she's not meant for this kind of frigid temperature, but we will die here if we can get outside and be active. I want to take her snowshoeing. This doesn't look good, unless I can get her to wear one of these...

The key is in the built in boots.

Holiday Peace

Stationery Card

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It's all perspective, this "reality"

All whiny bitchiness aside, it's -1 Fahrenheit (-18 Celsius) outside and I don't know how to function. Just stepping out into that kind of cold starts a freeze reaction of your boogers and don't even think about gasping, because that deep breath will make you cough up coldness. It seems that cold weather gear is concentrated around your core, but what about my poor legs? I turn into a zombie because the thought of bending my legs and touching my pants is horrifying.

To add to all this, now I have a cute little puppy that should not be putting her paw pads on -1 degree pavement. Her silly little dew claw is making it hard for her boots to stay on her front feet. Today I have to solve that problem because both she and I will go mad if we don't get outside for a while.

The 10 day forecast is a bit brighter than this cold snap that has snapped me into reality. We have 40's predicted by the end of the week. Wow, 40, two years ago 40 would have terrified me and now I'm thinking about how toasty I would feel if it would just get to 40!

At least it's not Detroit

Snow is beautiful. I mean look at this photo.

Snow is fun. Can you feel the joy leaping from my pup?

There's nothing like hiking through the pristine, white, glistening snow.

But guess fucking what? I don't live there. I live in the city, where I have a job, a full time job, that I have to get to. EVEN WHEN IT SNOWS.

This damn city expects everyone to get to work. The public schools expect everyone to get to work at the crack of dark dawn and the city does a super shitty job making sure the streets, or sidewalks for that matter, are safe. I know that cities are broke, but I just paid $361 to get my Colorado plates, and the freaking DMV was packed with people like me, you'd think the least they could do is plow the damn street, maybe put a little something on the overpasses and the hills? It took me an hour to drive 5 miles home. Yeah, yeah, I could have walked faster, but it just so happens to be 7 degrees Fahrenheit outside, and I am not a polar bear so I don't have layers of blubber and fur for insulation. 

It really pisses me off that people are like, oh, well, you moved to Colorado, so it's snowing. Yes, I understand that, but if this is Colorado and this is what happens, then how come the city can't do something with the roads so people can actually get to work?

Damn arctic

From 44 to -12. Ugh. The arctic blast needs to stay in Canada. I decided against the knee length down coat with the furry hood and now I'm feeling regrets. I usually have buyers remorse over every purchase I make and now I feel not buying remorse and it's too cold and dark to actually drive to the mall.

Can we return the geese and cold back to the Canadians?

Time to brace myself

The cold is forecasted. You know you're in trouble when the Weather Channel says "Huge temperature drops coming." Of course we did hit 59 today, so the 25 that's forecasted for tonight and the 17 for tomorrow are quite a drop, huge, really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tim Burton could do this justice

This could be the opening scene for a vampire attack, or maybe a perfect location for a witch ceremony. As the winds ripped through the tops of the trees we were sheltered, only letting the frigid sub zero air seep into our lungs. If not for the barks and hollering winds, a crack of a stick would send chills down your spine, raise the hairs on the back of your neck. 

The Nightmare Before Christmas, Sleepy Hallow, Corpse Bride. 

Would you believe that this was taken at 10 am? The sun seems to be that high. Too bad I didn't run into Johnny Depp on our hike...

Heated

I am grateful for a house with heat, for my job that pays for my heat and for the best snuggler on the planet.

As winter hibernation begins I am all to well aware of how excruciatingly slow and yet fast the time until warmer weather makes an appearance. My obsession with calendars and my constant wishing time away becomes more pronounced when weather plays a role. Early afternoon darkness has set and yet the days are progressively getting shorter and shorter until the solstice celebration when there is a light at the end of the tunnel and the days get longer again. Are there people out there that just live through this winter nonsense without obsessing over every frigid forecast?

And yet, when June arrives, I'll wonder where the time went...

Time less

Daylight savings ended. We are no longer saving daylight and now I go to work in the dark and come home in the dark. Nice. The plight of a teacher. While you are still thinking about getting out of bed we are already driving to work. Just another asinine thing about our society, starting high school at the crack of dawn when no human is awake, never mind a teenage human. The status quo is so weird to me. Yes, in 1784 Ben Franklin thought of this genius plan to move the daylight to the morning to save on candle usage, but seriously? It's not like the day actually got longer, we just moved the light. As I drove home in the pitch dark at 5:15 pm, I had to dodge darkly clothed pedestrians and rush hour traffic. We can just manipulate time? Apparently we can, and if that is possible, if we have some kind of super power, why don't we use it for good?

Winter woes commence

You know you've crossed a line of concern when you are dreaming of a remote car starter from Santa. Just think, when it's 30 degrees and windy, sleeting, and pitch dark, you can push a button and get that car warmed up while standing next to your blasting air duct.

Daylight savings is going to be the death of me. I haven't experienced this ridiculous, unnecessary tradition for 5 years and although the dark morning are quite dreadful the dark afternoons are going to be murderous.

I didn't take the warm tropics for granted. I noticed each day wearing my shorts and t-shirt and gave a little thanks. I haven't shown more than a few inches of skin for over a month now. It's strange to be back and wrapped up. It's strange to wear socks that aren't athletic socks. Winter gloves, hat and a giant down coat. I've also been dreaming of a more giant down coat with a hood. Three hundred dollars seems a small price to pay to be able to venture outside without wanting to cry. The frigid air burns my lungs. I'll adjust. Well, that is a lie. I lived here for 12 years and never got used to the winter. Why does North America have to be so far North?

Well, she's not a polar bear

You try walking on 30 degree pavement without shoes...

Eff winter part 1

Things I never thought I'd say again... It's time to plastic wrap the windows.