The spirit

My 7th grade language arts colleague assigned her kids to write their Christmas Story. Well, one student couldn't think of anything to write, so he interviewed me about my story...

“CHRISTMAS IS STUPID”

-Lisa Yemma-

The first reason that

Christmas is the dumbest event ever

Is because it is very stressful because everyone buys gifts

But then you have to buy them gifts,

Also, Everyone wraps all their presents

Just so that the wrapping paper can be torn apart

And it's not like the wrapping paper is doing us any favors

All wrapping paper does is pollute our world

When someone rips up wrapping paper

You can almost hear the pollution

Wrapping paper can't even be recycled

Then there are the people

who must for some reason have a dead tree

in their living room

Like you are cutting down a tree so it can

Stand in your living room and make a mess

Trees are like small children

And then there are those people

Who get fake dead trees

Fake dead trees are pretty much fake small children

Who wants a fake small child?

When Christmas rolls around

People buy people so much useless stuff

People like post pictures of all their

Presents, Food, and Decorations

And then there are like

#ChristmasTime

I would be like

#WastingAllMyMoney

Or

#BuyingMySecondCousinsSonLegos

Or

#UnnecessaryUseOfMoneyAndHashtag

And then you spend YOUR money

On a nice present

That the person uses like once

I’m just saying why even buy a present

If the present is going to be a RC car

That the kid uses once

And then tries to get it to fly off a ten foot ledge

And suddenly there goes your present

Half the presents people get

People don’t actually want

Christmas is the season of JOY

Hah sych

Christmas is the season of pooping

I mean like sure there is a lot of good food

But that just means that you gain like three pounds

And then every day you spend at least thirty minutes on the toilet

Because there is so much food

Which brings me to my next complaint

Waste

Not like the poop waste

No like the bad for the environment waste

And not just that but like food waste

Sure the mass amount of food

Is nice, But people throw away so much food

That or you just have two weeks of leftovers.

And then you have to clean up

Everything

Wrapping paper (#Wasteful)

Food

Dishes

Trees (#small_children)

Your relationships

Right Relationships

They tend to fracture

Over christmas dinner when people start to talk

Religions or Politics

And finally the worst part

CHURCH

Sure it's Jesus birthday

But cant we just go

“HAPPY B-DAY JESUS”

And then be done

Since when does Jesus want us to sing

We could just abandon Church

Or

WE COULD ABANDON CHRISTMAS

YAHHHH

ADHD Time

A common misconception about people with ADHD is that because we're hyper, we need a lot of stimulation. I've suffered from ADHD and the corresponding anxiety for as long as I can remember, and as an adult, it has gotten worse, but I've figured out ways to have a positive impact. With my ADHD, my brain is already running a mile a minute, and more stimulation is exactly what I don't need. I think this is why I like gardening so much. Why I like hiking, being outside with my pups, going for long walks. Most of the time I walk without any music. I just walk. I've never really thought about this, but then I came across this blogpost:
https://yourot.com/parenting-club/2017/8/23/green-time-treatment-for-adhd-symptoms

As a teacher I meet kids with ADHD all the time, and I notice that they are on 4 different volleyball teams (yes, I can think of two students off the top of my head in which this is true for).

I know anyone can make a kid, but not everyone can be a parent. If you are not willing to put in the effort, please stop reproducing.

Is this a test?

If you think you would have stood up for Jews during the Holocaust, then what are you doing now?

A couple of months ago my book club group decided to that we should read "The Zookeepers Wife" by Diane Ackerman. Set in Poland during WWII, the zoo is bombed, animals are killed, and the zookeeper's wife hides and helps 300 jews during a time when her own family was at risk, and her actions could have had dire consequences. As I was reading this book, I was reminded of all the other WWII books I've read and movies I've seen, and the same thought I always get came pouring back.

What would I have done?

It is taboo to talk about this topic in this way, unless you say that you would have helped, you would have spoken up, you would have risked your life and your family to "do the right thing". Well, I don't know. Would I? If I were in the same layer of life I am now, lower middle class, little access to money, stuck in a crappy neighborhood, would I have spoken up/out? I don't know. I would, obviously, like to think, duh, of course, but is that true?

I bring this up to my book club, and of course there is that awkward silence. The sideways glances. Ugh, I can't believe she said that. What a horrible person. And yet, how many people didn't speak up? How many people just stood by while groups of people were deemed non human, not worthy of living, wrong.

And then 2017 happens. White supremacists? Seriously? In 2017, with our advances in genetics, our knowledge of the human genome, of our place in the classification of living organisms. Our DNA is a code of chemicals, the four chemical bases (ATCG) that make up our instructional blueprint it identical to the four chemical bases (ATCG) that make up every known living organism - bacteria, mushrooms, penicillin, spiders, an oak tree, and on and on. As humans we are multicelluar and need to eat for energy, we are therefore classified in the Animal Kingdom. Our classification leads all known humans to be in the same genus and species. We are one. There is one human race. In that same race, there are small differences in our DNA that lead to limited uniqueness. We like to dwell on differences, it helped us survive in the wild. Our instinct to judge, to make assumptions, to stereotype, helpingus survive with split second decisions to run from that noise. Was that a lion? Those early hominids that judged quickly and ran, survived. What is different? Homo sapiens developed a large frontal lobe, a place to think, make decisions, reason. So we still have that instinct to judge, and we do, but the difference is we have a frontal lobe that tells us, ok, I see that you've made a split second judgement, before you react, let's analyze the situation and make a choice on what to do next.

Pick any group of humans you want. Ask yourself this - does that human have a liver, kidneys, lungs, two femurs, external ears, hair, hormones? We are virtually exactly the same, and yet we focus on things like the amount of melanin in the cells of the skin. There is variation in skin color in homo sapiens. This is science. Science doesn't care what you believe (thank you Neil DeGrasse Tyson), and if you believe that skin color makes a person more than or less than any other, than your belief, your claim, is not supported by evidence, and a claim without evidence is not valid.

Now the question becomes, what does society do with a population of people that have false beliefs? People that have built a paradigm on information that has no evidence to support the claims? And who are these people? I'm really curious to know if any atheist scientists identify as white supremacists.

And now, what do we do? A group of misinformed people chose a president that has an invalid belief system. He has yet to demonstrate that his frontal lobe is functional, and yet, I don't deny that he is a human, I just deny that he is a human that should be leading a country. So, do we wait, and for what? What are we doing, what should we do? Will this be in the history books in 50 years? Millions of Americans just stood by as their country crumbled into a pit of racism and despair? If this is a test, we are failing.

Repeating history - does that sound like a good idea to you?

2017 in the United States of America and one of the many current conversations about Science is Data Rescuing. Data Rescuing. How do we care for scientific data? Just let that sink in for a minute. 

As a science teacher, I encourage my students to visualize the lives of the historical scientists we study and read about. I remind my kids that we only know what we know when we know it. Science is about collecting data, analyzing that data, and figuring out relationships between the data. Are scientists wrong? Of course, all the time, and how do they handle the new data that shows that the relationships they analyzed aren't really what they thought? They CHANGE their claims. Science is ever evolving, ever changing, morphing as we find more data, as technology enhances our ability to "see" the world. 

It wasn't so long ago that people thought that sicknesses were because people were possessed with the devil. In a world before microscopes, there was no way to imagine microscopic organisms, never mind these microbes causing disease. 

Science is the human mind's way of explaining natural phenomenon. Science is different from religion because science is based on evidence, AND changes with new evidence. Science does not involve faith in the unknown, but faith in a process, a logical, sequential, mathematical process. 

Math is the language of the Universe. Whether you think you are "good" at math or not, you are. Your brain evolved to notice patterns. Math is patterns. 

In Galileo's time, in Newton's time, in Mendel's time, in Darwin's time, there were people trying to explain the world through the logical processes of science. We excuse the push back because "those" people didn't know. They didn't have enough exposure to knowledge. Education wasn't accessible. Information was filtered as a small group of leaders saw fit. 

How, how? How have we gone backwards? How has the citizens of the US allowed a small group of leaders to decide that science data, and access to science data should be filtered? How have we allowed this small group to decide what is "true", not based on data, but based on greed? We have allowed greed to filter how we not only see the world, but live our lives, and how we make decisions. Does this small group really think that a world with more coal is preferable to exploring how our Sun's energy can be harnessed? 

I see greed, but I don't understand greed. Homo sapiens will not survive as individuals. Homo sapiens are community organisms. We need groups, a tribe, collaboration. We are now the Divided States of America, and unless we want to be a community again, we will collapse.

Just another day, and...

Today one of my coworkers died. Cancer. Just 60 years old.

I am a introvert in an extrovert world. I heard the news, and my first instinct was to get my dogs, and go for a hike. Find the forest. Feel fresh air, sun, dirt.

You know what I did? I stayed at school. I listened to your children. I consoled their tears. I gave them space, and then asked what they needed. We talked, we worked. I stayed.

It's my job. It's my job to stay with your children, to not leave, to be there. It is my job to be a content expert, a behavioral psychologist, a mediator, a mentor, a voice of reason, a comedian, an inspiration.

How much is that worth to you?

Ask yourself this as we near election time. In all this mess, where do our Presidential candidates stand on Education. Do you know? Are there local laws that need to be/should be passed that will support your schools. Remember, that even if you choose private or charter schools, not everyone has the luxury. Or maybe you don't even have kids, or your kids are grown, well, John Green sums it up best...

Please do your homework and ensure that the future of our world is ready for that responsibility.

This is it

Saturday I was walking into the grocery store, when I saw a pregnant woman with her groceries packed in plastic bags from the store. What?!? This woman, who is about to leave a HUMAN behind on Earth, doesn't even care enough to bring reusable bags to the store?

A colleague at work buys single use, plastic water bottles to drink out of.

Cigarette butts litter my street.

Packaging is out of control, especially at Trader Joes.

Based on my anecdotal evidence, I've developed a hypothesis.

Hypothesis: There is an inverse correlation between a person's belief in afterlife and their views on taking care of the environment. The stronger the belief in a god/afterlife/heaven, the less they care about taking care of the environment.

Reasoning: The reasoning is simple. If you believe that there is some place to go after you die, you aren't worried about the state of the Earth. If you don't believe in an afterlife of any sort, then this is it. This is your life. This is your Earth. You've got one chance. All living organisms have one chance. You are a part of the chance.

Evidence: I'll admit that I haven't surveyed a large sample of people (I wish someone would). My evidence is based on observations. I know a few pious individuals, and what I've witnessed is those are the people that buy water in plastic. I don't live in Flint, so there is no reason to be buying water that some company has taken from a tap, bottled in toxic plastic, and now is profiting from.

The other day I was minding my own business in my home, when 8 marked police cars flew by my front window, followed by an unmarked car, an ambulance, fire truck, and then the ghetto bird (police helicopter) began circling. The neighbors came out and we all congregated at the end of the block, looking down at the chaos. My elderly neighbor, who is extremely religious, and has written and published books on god/religion, came over to my yard. He's a quiet, peaceful, gentle man. We stared down at the flashing lights and I asked him how he's managed to stay so positive about living in such a crazy world. He comment - I'm paraphrasing: "I have hope of a great life in Heaven."

So, wait. The idea of going to heaven, excuses you from taking action now?

And then there's my atheist friends. People who believe that this is it. Our time on Earth IS the point. Those are the people carrying around reusable bags, going to yoga, refilling water bottles.

"Gotta do much more than believe, if we really want to change things.
Gotta do much more than believe, if want to see the world change." - DMB (Gaucho)

"Please Wake Up" -DMB

Brain Vomit

I've been trying to mentally digest something for a few weeks and as of this moment, I'm not even past the chewing stage. Mental chewing.

One of my closet friends, that I've had for a LONG time, 25 years, shared her most recent raise with me.

We were sitting at the park, just hanging on a bench, chit chatting, like long time friends do, when she came out with the statement -

"My raise this year is $bleeeeepppp"

When I heard the number, I choked down a bit of spit and sat with that number in my head. Then I went home, and that's when the mental chewing began.

You see - her raise - her raise - is MORE THAN MY YEARLY TAKE HOME SALARY.

I don't mean to yell, but all this mental chewing has me out of sorts.

I know, I know, I picked this profession knowing the salary, but holy hell, when the scenario was presented as such, I mentally flipped, choked and wanted to barf.

What kind of world do we live in where a banker makes more than a teacher?

Don't you want your kids to have a kick ass teacher that rocks their universe into inspiration? You'll say, yes, you always do.

Ashamed, you should feel ashamed

I just got my property tax bill in the mail. I knew that it was in my mortgage payment, but I still felt a little hesitant to open the statement, thinking that it would be in the thousands; my prediction was $4000. It's been a while since I owned a house. What do I know?

So I opened the bill and for the year my property tax is - you ready for this- $808 freaking dollars. WHAT?? Then on the statement was a notice saying that 59% of property taxes goes to our public school district. So what you're trying to tell me is that out of the entire year of property tax, $476 dollars goes to public education??? And people are complaining??

Now granted, I do live in a little house in a ghetto neighborhood, but it's what I can afford and I'm assuming that those people who choose to live in big houses in the ritz can afford that luxury and the higher rate in taxes.

So I was thinking. Ok, so you have one kid and a house. For 180 days a year, from approximately 8 am to 3 pm (some parents drop their kids off at 7 am, I know, I am there, and kids stay after, so I'm rounding to 7 hours, even though you know it's more like 8-9), your child is in a reasonably safe and secure environment, not only being watched after, but actually educated, by educated people, with college degrees, professionals? Let me get this straight... you are getting full service on your kid. Care, protection, and an academic environment, not to mention character education, bullying prevention, homework help during my lunch and after school, all that for $2.64 per DAY!  A half a latte? At 0.38 cents per hour and my 28 students in a class, that is less than 11 buck per hour per teacher. But you see, we make more than that, so where does the money come from? How are we supposed to pay qualified professionals, update technology and provide a positive learning environment for your kid? You'll spend $5 on a freaking coffee, but you're complaining about the cost of taxes that support your child's school?

Now, just think about the families with multiple children.

I don't even have kids, but guess what... actually, I think John Green says it best:

Fight the self serving norms

I have always, as far back as I can remember, had a strong relationship with nature. I've also had this strong sense of altruism to dedicate my energy to supporting what is here, now, and to preserving what really matters. Humanity is dependent on our connection to nature and yet...

Someone sent me this video recently and THIS is it. This is why I didn't have children. Not because I'm out of the norm, or don't want to be normal, but because I see the bigger picture and until we step up and fix ourselves, we have no right bringing kids into this mess.

Bucket of suck just about sums it up. What clever, sarcastic metaphor could we come up with for February. 

You are my sunshine ☀️

If I said this was the worst winter ever in the history of all mankind, would you think me dramatic? Do I care? I mean, really, what kind of person doesn't complain about a straight week of sub freezing temperatures and the incessant need to keep snowing. Enough is enough. The only saving grace we have here in Colorado is that the clouds blow away often enough that the sun reminds us that we're human and can actually make it through another night of single digits. 

So, I hate cold and snow, but I'm sure glad the sun decided to show up today. 

If you take up space and have mass, then you matter

Bright flash

Pop

Pop pop pop pop

Midnight in the 'hood

2 shaking pups

Have you noticed an

Inverse

Relationship 

Between sensibility and

Income?

It's not about color, race, religion, gender,

It's about the notion that you can

Make a difference. 

What is the formula to sell you,

No, I'll just give it to you,

What's the formula, so that you realize that you

Make a difference. 

It's time and I don't know how much 

Longer

I can just stand by and watch you

Ruin the world 

Stop

You matter

We all matter

It's just a collection of matter. 

It's non-stop up here, people, non-stop

There is a ping pong game inside my skull, but instead of the usual one ball, there are 100 balls, all battling for space, hitting my neurons, stimulating, crushing, it's an ADHD festival up there.

Have you noticed that the relationship between the amount of Christmas decorations and a person's income is inverse?

I'm still baffled at putting a dead tree inside a house. I mean, who was the first person to say, HEY, you guys, I think we should cut down a tree and bring it inside, BUT let's not just stop there, let's put a bunch of lights and crap on it.

My neighbors have pretty lights.

Two dogs is so freaking awesome.

I am still shocked that people don't think like I do.

Global warming means that instead of heading into the next ice age, we are heading in an increased warming phase. I don't want to head into an ice age...

My new colleague it a victim filled martyr. You can imagine how that's going.

I think Alaska is to blame, this time

The temperature could triple and it would still be below freezing. Yes, I'm bitching. 

It's hard enough to feel human when it's dark at 5 pm, but couple that with an arctic blast and one turns to ridiculous activities, like cooking. 

Cooking has always been classified as a waste of time in my master book of classification. All that effort, ingredients, and the food may or may not be decent and the voila, several hours later it all gets flushed. 

Today, in the inhuman cold, I chose to make some baked ziti. I'd been thinking about this for a few weeks and had some ingredients, like natural Italian sausage, mushrooms, zucchini, spinach, and of course sauce, noodles and well, I always have loads of cheese. So what that the recipe called for spices and herbs, I don't supply those types of things, you know, items that give food taste.  

So I mixed it all together, baked for a while and here's what I got ...

Eleven bland meals. (I ate one before the packaging began)

Now, my other flaw is that I'm a super cheap ass and I invested a bunch of money, time and food items shall not go to waste, so I will force every one of these bland meals down my own throat. 

Watch out kids, your teacher is going to be a bit crabby after lunch. 

Freedom

The contentment of aging is miraculous. I was having dinner with a former student who is headed to her first year of college and understandably nervous. Our conversation brought me back to life as a younger person and the worries that accompanied me. I shared how being 42 is a bit horrifying and I have no idea how it happened so fast, but what I love the most is not caring so much. No obsessing about what other people think, but being content. Comfortable. It's freeing.

Then she reaches for her phone, searches for a bit, and shows me this image...

Are you coming, where are you?

There's something about having friends who are always late. The thing that, I suppose, bugs me the most is that I know who they are and how late they often are, and yet I am not only still ALWAYS ontime, but I am my usual 5 minutes early. You'd think that an early arriver would have the gift of patience, but, nope, no patience here, just pure frustration and wonderment of why I still make plans with people that choose to be on their own schedule without consideration. 

I................... don't

Episode 4 of blind date hell is going to be the last for a while. The main character is going on a 5 week hiatus and has deleted her online dating app.

I'm case you missed it, not only was there no sparks in any of the episodes, but instead pure awkwardness. No, that's not entirely true, episode 3 had some promising moments but in part 2 he made it clear that he wasn't looking for friends and that's about all the vine I was getting. I didn't see any romance popping up, so that was that. 

Is it too late for my family to set me up in an arranged relationship? 

'Hood life, part 1

The thing about living in the 'hood is that the laughter/play screaming of kids is followed by a foul mouthed mother, and I use the word "mother" lightly, yelling in her rasping cigarette stained scratched up voice for the kids to shut the eff up and stop this, don't do that, get out, you are an idiot.

I sit on my back porch and wonder what chance the kids will ever have when they are barked at all day by a trashy person that just so happened to have given birth to them. I send positive vibes in their direction, willing the kids to seek solice in school and become readers and problem solvers that don't just want to spew out a bunch of offspring but want to, if they so desire, raise a kid, bring them up, not down. 

I feel like an old lady sitting back there. I suppose I am. 

If you only knew

I was walking by the school store at 7:20 this morning and one of my students... well, let me back up and tell you about this student. He is a year older than his classmates. He has a high IQ, but VERY low EQ. He shouts out random thoughts, hates everyone and everything, is overweight, carries around a huge camouflage backpack filled to the rim with god knows what. Drinks water out of a two liter bottle. Doesn't seem to understand basic hygiene. Well, let me give you an example of how he is in class.

Me: "Today we are going to do this super cool lab using steel balls and a bull's eye!" Him: "That sucks. I hate labs. That is stupid.

Me: "OMG this video of a human projectile is so cool!" Him: "That sucks. I hate videos. That is stupid.

Me: "We are going to use scissors and glue today so that we can create this super cool foldable."
Him: "That sucks. I hate foldables. This is stupid."

It is soooooooooooooo hard to have him as a student. The kids have learned to ignore him and his rants, and from what I understand, he is like this all day. He obviously has some sort of thing going on, and well, me being a physics teacher and not a psychiatrist, I just don't know. It takes an enormous amount of self control and energy not to punch him in the face. I obviously don't take anything he says personally, but let me tell you, it gets freaking old.

Ok, so back to my story. So this morning at 7:20 am, I see this kid walking out of the school store and you wanna know what he bought. THREE, yes, THREE Mountain Dews. Um, I know I said I don't have a medical degree and all, and call me crazy, but you think this kid's issues could stem from the poison he is putting into his body?

So now it's 7:23 and I'm in the copy room and there are a few other teachers there and of course there is venting going on. I couldn't help myself. I just had to give these teachers a little mini lesson on epigenetics, the fact that this generation that I'm teaching is the first generation EVER to have a shorter lifespan then their parents, that as a school we are feeding kids facts about meaningless physics and they are feeding themselves toxic chemicals. I ranted a bit. And then, I regretted it. The other teachers are living the delusional life and looked at me like I was completely mad.

I went back to my room and saw this...

Those teachers probably think I'm a ranting lunatic that spews all my thoughts at every moment, when in fact this graphic perfectly describes me. I know I say a lot of shit, but you can't even possibly begin to imagine what's going on in here. Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist.

Coal burning times

It's 10 degrees with a wind chill of -5, and if anyone mentions how much they like winter and snow I'm going to punch them in the face. This is miserable. Grey skies, light snow, yes that is beautiful - for about 10 minutes looking out the window and then the realization of - I have to do something - enters your head and now what. Luckily I can walk to the grocery store, even in this blistering cold, it's better than driving on the roads. Apparently the salt/chemical mixture doesn't work at these temperatures, no wonder they don't put anything down.

I think Fresa might understand that we can't go out an play. Yesterday I bundled her up, boots and all and after she pooped, she put on the brakes and wouldn't take another step, unless it was turning back towards the house.

I'm trying to coax her along, but no deal. She hates her boots, but no dog's paws should touch the subfreezing pavement. I guess we'll hunker down and wait for the chill to leave...