Ashamed, you should feel ashamed

I just got my property tax bill in the mail. I knew that it was in my mortgage payment, but I still felt a little hesitant to open the statement, thinking that it would be in the thousands; my prediction was $4000. It's been a while since I owned a house. What do I know?

So I opened the bill and for the year my property tax is - you ready for this- $808 freaking dollars. WHAT?? Then on the statement was a notice saying that 59% of property taxes goes to our public school district. So what you're trying to tell me is that out of the entire year of property tax, $476 dollars goes to public education??? And people are complaining??

Now granted, I do live in a little house in a ghetto neighborhood, but it's what I can afford and I'm assuming that those people who choose to live in big houses in the ritz can afford that luxury and the higher rate in taxes.

So I was thinking. Ok, so you have one kid and a house. For 180 days a year, from approximately 8 am to 3 pm (some parents drop their kids off at 7 am, I know, I am there, and kids stay after, so I'm rounding to 7 hours, even though you know it's more like 8-9), your child is in a reasonably safe and secure environment, not only being watched after, but actually educated, by educated people, with college degrees, professionals? Let me get this straight... you are getting full service on your kid. Care, protection, and an academic environment, not to mention character education, bullying prevention, homework help during my lunch and after school, all that for $2.64 per DAY!  A half a latte? At 0.38 cents per hour and my 28 students in a class, that is less than 11 buck per hour per teacher. But you see, we make more than that, so where does the money come from? How are we supposed to pay qualified professionals, update technology and provide a positive learning environment for your kid? You'll spend $5 on a freaking coffee, but you're complaining about the cost of taxes that support your child's school?

Now, just think about the families with multiple children.

I don't even have kids, but guess what... actually, I think John Green says it best:

Pre-yardwork poetry

Panic attack #1.
Start here.
I'm terrible at before photos
I'd like to block those images
from my brain
but here they are
waiting
ready
time - I'm about to have
money - that's another issue

Is there a medication for this?

I'm in a state of home buyers paralysis. My 1/3 of an acre lot has, more than likely, seen better days, and I have no idea where to start. The 134 feet of chain link fence, just on the west side of the lot is ghetto-fabulous, not that the neighborhood itself is remotely as nice as my little abode.

What to do, what to do, what to do. So many what to do's, that all I've accomplished is sitting on my back porch reading - hence, the paralysis.

I should feel elated. I now own my 4th house, I mean I don't currently have 4 houses, but in my lifetime I've been owner or part owner of 3 other houses... this is not new, and yet, it's new. It's kind of like when you first get married and everyone tells you how amazing the honeymoon period is and all you can think is, WTF, this isn't amazing at all, I'm just kind of annoyed. That's how I feel. I think I should be in the bliss of honeymoondom, and yet, I'm freaking out, in a state of shock and panic.

Shrubs, vines, bamboo lining on the chain link? What? And, a better question is who is going to fund this little expedition that I've decided to go on?

Oh, and how do I get my dog to stop her incessant barking?

Glorious

Going for a walk isn't that easy anymore... First thing is to check the temperature with the weather app on my phone. Yup, I confirm that it's 33 degrees, about freezing. Now to think about what to layer so that I don't freeze or sweat. Do I wear my new fleece lined pants? A long sleeve shirt? Two shirts? Do I wear my fleece hat and gloves? Ugh, all the decisions just to go outside. 

BUT look at what I get to see once I get outside and walk two blocks north.

Wow

This morning when I walked up to my building I could have sworn that this was the most amazing sunrise I've ever seen. Each step closer to going inside I couldn't take my eye off the sun and I rushed up to my 3rd floor classroom that gratefully faces east and snapped this photo. This is a completely undoctored photo taken with and IPhone 5. Wow.  Getting up in the dark and frigid air is compensated with this. Our Earth is wondrous, beautiful, stunning. I am in awe.

New Day

Luckily the human brain has a way of "forgetting" about crappy stuff. You know how when you are on vacation and things just aren't going your way you think that you'll never put yourself in that situation again and the very next year you are sitting around reminiscing how amazing that vacation was, completely blocking out all the annoying stuff that happened? This is a survival tool, really. If we remembered all the yucky stuff we would die out as a species because I'm pretty sure not many people would go through child birth twice. Unless the bad stuff changes your brain pathways you can get over it pretty quick.

There are new studies that show that if you have experienced long lasting trauma in your lifetime and it actually changed your pathways that you can pass that on to your offspring. Scary, but what's awesome is that humans have the ability to reverse that pathway change and "fix" the traumatic damage and the healthy gene making alleles can now be passed on. Now, it's easier to know about that and read about it rather than actually doing it. But knowledge is the first step to power. So grasp onto that new day that has just started and make it a good one. Even if the hail storm accompanied by thunder and lightening just shortened your walk with your dog...

Come on dog owning Denverites, you can do better than this

I decided to try the dog park close to my house this morning. I had read online that it was kind of crappy, but I actually had high hopes as we walked over there. It's right in front of one of the huge high schools in the city, next to a community garden and the big City Park with the Zoo and Museum. Sounds good so far, right? Well, we walked down Colfax, which is always an adventure and cut across the community garden which surprisingly enough was filled with trash. Wrappers from chip bags, napkins, disgusting. The city does such a great job cleaning up the park, why don't they head over to the garden?

So right away I was a bit disgusted and then I see the sand pit. Not a single blade of grass to be seen and TONS of dogs. Mostly big dogs and I did read that some ass wholes bring their mean dogs to the park, but I knew Fresa would be submissive, so I decided to go in. She was hesitant at first, but finally ventured in the double gate. I let her off and immediately a chocolate lab puppy, maybe 5 months old, came over to play. I looked up to see the dogs owner and looked directly at her and said something like, "oh, puppies can always find each other". She blankly stared at me and didn't say a single word. As if she was deaf. Maybe she is deaf. I was shocked. What the hell? So Fresa and I walked away, staying at the perimeter of the fence, away from the crazy big dogs and her lab followed us. Jumped up on me. Stayed with us. No wonder, his owner is a cow.

Another dog came over to us and proceeded to jump on me. Not a single person standing around acknowledged that their dog was jumping on me. You see those skits of people going to a dog park and standing in the corner on their phone with their Starbucks in hand. Well, the stereotype seems to be true. I was never able to take Winnie to a dog park because she was a mean dog and would bite other dogs in the face. I was smart enough to know she could never be off leash in a public place. What is wrong with people?

I found a tennis ball amid the trash and dog shit and wondered how long this park will remain open. There are many folks that don't want a dog park right there and honestly as much as I want to be able to take Fresa off leash, I don't blame them. The Josephine Dog Park is gross and the owners are not taking care of picking up after their dogs. Shame on them.

Wanderer Wonderings

I was just thinking about my inability to stay put in a house, in a job, in anything really. I love being back in Denver. I love walking to the lake at City Park and enjoying green space in the city. But, you knew there'd be a but, huh. Well there is. But, can I really settle down? I've bought houses here before and it's easy enough to sell, but what about my job? Can I stay at this job for a while? Then I got to thinking about when I first started in my school district. I was working at a super low performing inner city school with lots of gang bangers, crime, parents in jail, homelessness, emotional and learning disabilities, etc... and guess what? I was there for 3 years and I would have stayed. I wanted to continue working there, I had found a little family and I loved my coworkers. I had found my niche except for one tiny detail... No Child Left Behind came along and forced the school to close because the kids were not performing. Shocker. So I was forced out of my school. Forced to find another school because they kicked us all out. The kids just went to another inner city school, it's not like closing the school gets rid of the kids...

This got me thinking about what would have happened if my school had never closed. Would I have stuck with it? Would I still be there? I do remember being frustrated and venting. That is how I process all the shit I see everyday, but I don't remember wanting to leave and find another school. Well, since they kicked us out I've worked at 5 additional schools. Five. I'm in my 11th year teaching and I've worked at a total of 6 schools, and have had 8 principals.

Walking home from the park today I saw a young boy, probably around 10, throwing rocks at the squirrels in the tree and I thought, ew, I would hate that kid if he were my student. What kind of ass hole kid is mean to animals. It's hard to like or even tolerate the jerks in the world, try being their teacher...

Hibernation sounds real good right about now

I spent all day inside one of the most awesome Museum's in the world and when it was time to go I entered the cold front that snuck through and it was rainy and 45 degrees! On my way to doggie day care I hear the radio announcer say that the lows for tonight are in the 30's and there is a chance of snow on the front range. WWWWWHHHAAATTTT???

I came home to a thermostat reading of 69 and thought for about 10 seconds before I decided to turn on the heat. It's been a long time since I had to use heat, well, actually, I really wanted heat in Bolivia, Peru and Ecuador, but heat doesn't exist here, so I've decided that hell no, I'm not going to be cold.

What temperature do normal people put their thermostat on in the winter? I'm thinking 72, but does that seem a little too cold? I mean, room temperature is 75, so shouldn't rooms be at least 75?

Cold drizzle, ugh.