meaningless

I am angry and bitter at the universe. I tried to do the right thing by helping that dog. I couldn't believe that no one wanted to help, and look what I get. I encouraged that dog to stay around my parents' house and look what I get. Is this a sign? Am I supposed to throw in the towel? How do you justify this?

Then this morning I thought, what if the real test is how I'm going to react to all this? You know how you always see those quotes that it isn't what crap is thrown your way, but how graceful you respond? My response on Saturday wasn't very graceful. I was screaming my head off, bloody hell is on fire. And now I'm filled with hate. Hate for myself that I didn't just walk away in the first place. That we didn't just take the dog to the address and drop it off.

So what is the lesson here? Is there a lesson here? Am I being tested? Is all this just random and there is no connection with anything anywhere? I feel like puking.