la madre de Fresa Sacapuntas

Weekends have always been really hard for me. After my divorce I struggled with every moment of an unplanned weekend and that trend continued when I was living internationally. I've been thinking a lot about my time overseas and I realize that I am just not meant to live in a place where I don't speak the language. I've also realized that although many of you know me as outgoing, out spoken, loud and obnoxious, that really I am very shy. I am terrible at small talk and it is hard for me to just go somewhere new and start talking to someone. That combined with feeling VERY insecure about a new language made the past few years really hard. Being back in the US has reminded me of the freedom I feel when I can go anywhere at anytime with very little restrictions and for the first time in many many years this weekend I felt, you might want to sit for this, I felt content. Saturday I didn't actually talk to anyone. I walked with Fresa, worked on a project for my museum class, ran errands and at the end of the day, all bundled up from the freezing temperatures, I laid down under my giant down comforter and thought, wow, today was a good, no, not good, today was a great day.

I wonder if part of my peace right now is Fresa. I know she is a dog and not a person, but those are the qualities that make her that much more special. I like myself better as her mom.