Today I met a friend from school for lunch. We actually went to the "mall" first to get pedicures, and then to a little Italian place for lunch. I put mall in quotes because this place is super gross. There is a grocery store in there, and that's the only reason I could see actually going there. There is not one store that I would actually spend money in, so I'm not sure what people go there for. It's always crowded. That is the mall that the person was shot in the food court in broad daylight. I never, ever go there, but today, in a lapse of judgement, I agreed to meet her.
At the end of our lunch a little boy with a metal coffee can came begging up to our table. This is a sight that I am all too used to, actually I am all to familiar with it, I don't think I'll ever get used to it. He was adorable. A bit dis-shelved, messed up hair, dirty clothes, carrying a metal can. It's a catch 22 giving these kids money. There is usually an adult nearby, watching, and waiting for the cute little kid to get the money and then they take it from them. When the kid walked up, I asked my friend if she would mind if we gave him the rest of our pizza. Of course she didn't, so we gave him our leftovers. He hesitantly took the box and for a moment I was worried he would have to hand it over to an adult, but instead, he walked over and sat under a tree and proceeded, with a blank expression, to eat the pizza.
You know I've been trying to be positive. Have positive thoughts, intentions, but this broke me today. This poor little boy, he is probably 7 years old, wandering the streets, begging, eating leftovers. My first instinct was to steal him. Take him to my house, clean him up, give him a nice meal and enroll him in school. Then I think of the damage trauma does at a molecular level and I wonder if he'll ever be able to adapt, even given the chance. Is he permanently damaged? What has this cute little boy seen, done, could I just pick him up and make his life better?
And then of course, my thoughts spiraled to society. I am baffled that we don't care about trees, lakes, oceans, wildlife, but KIDS?! Other humans? I'm at a loss for understanding, I'm overwhelmed, I don't want to be like this. Today I thought that I should medicate myself somehow, some way, so I wouldn't have to think about this little boy, and all the little kids wandering the streets. How do I come home, eat my dinner and just not think about this? How do people sit in front of a TV and watch people throw balls and ignore this?
I have to make a bigger difference. I have to do much more than believe...
At the end of our lunch a little boy with a metal coffee can came begging up to our table. This is a sight that I am all too used to, actually I am all to familiar with it, I don't think I'll ever get used to it. He was adorable. A bit dis-shelved, messed up hair, dirty clothes, carrying a metal can. It's a catch 22 giving these kids money. There is usually an adult nearby, watching, and waiting for the cute little kid to get the money and then they take it from them. When the kid walked up, I asked my friend if she would mind if we gave him the rest of our pizza. Of course she didn't, so we gave him our leftovers. He hesitantly took the box and for a moment I was worried he would have to hand it over to an adult, but instead, he walked over and sat under a tree and proceeded, with a blank expression, to eat the pizza.
You know I've been trying to be positive. Have positive thoughts, intentions, but this broke me today. This poor little boy, he is probably 7 years old, wandering the streets, begging, eating leftovers. My first instinct was to steal him. Take him to my house, clean him up, give him a nice meal and enroll him in school. Then I think of the damage trauma does at a molecular level and I wonder if he'll ever be able to adapt, even given the chance. Is he permanently damaged? What has this cute little boy seen, done, could I just pick him up and make his life better?
And then of course, my thoughts spiraled to society. I am baffled that we don't care about trees, lakes, oceans, wildlife, but KIDS?! Other humans? I'm at a loss for understanding, I'm overwhelmed, I don't want to be like this. Today I thought that I should medicate myself somehow, some way, so I wouldn't have to think about this little boy, and all the little kids wandering the streets. How do I come home, eat my dinner and just not think about this? How do people sit in front of a TV and watch people throw balls and ignore this?
I have to make a bigger difference. I have to do much more than believe...
No comments:
Post a Comment