It's seasonless sadness

Is it possible to have winter time anxiety when it's 80 degrees and sunny? Is it my landmark birthday? Is it just that the end of January generally is a sucky time of year? I have moments of peace but they are just flutters.

Another earthquake shook the city today. This time I didn't feel a thing. Or maybe I did. I'm still not sure exactly what it feels like, other than the fact that my bed is on wheels and it rolled around the other night. That I felt, but didn't register the feeling until the next morning when people talked about the nighttime quake. Nothing like some movement of the earth's plates to make you reevaluate your life. I know, I know, I spend way too much time thinking.

Have you ever heard someone relate a chemical imbalance in your brain to diabetes? Ok, so in diabetes the pancreas isn't working properly, but you don't hear anyone saying, just suck it up and FEEL that your pancreas is working. Now, I did just read an article about placebos and sure enough just telling you your taking medicine plays a significant role in how you feel, so mind over matter? Can I give you fake insulin and you'll process sugar correctly?

It occurred to me that I should start documenting some of my training for my upcoming trip. Just as I was thinking about doing another big trip, sitting in Raleigh, not on a big trip, thinking, yup it's time, an email comes in and sure enough my University professor is headed to Nepal and Tibet. I'm in. In. In. In. It took a millisecond to decide and now I'm in "get in shape mode". My last big hike, well, I guess you could count the Inca Trail, but before that was Kili and that was in 2007 and I had just turned 35. So here I am 5 years later, about to cross into the darkness and it's time for another adventure.

So far training has consisted of just getting back into general shape, but this weekend I put on my boots for the first time in two years and the blisters have made their mark. I'll keep you posted on their progress...