Who you gonna call?

I'm sorry United States of America, I love you, but I'm a bad citizen. I'm the type of person that takes all the benefits I can from you, but gives nothing in return. For example, I know that you've been working hard on trying to figure out how to improve the health care in your country, but honestly I don't really care. Ok, so that's not entirely true. I do care about you and what happens, but seriously why does everything have to be so complicated? When I lived there I made such little money that my puny taxes probably didn't really help much, and now I'm living outside the US and well, not paying taxes at all. My income is still very small and I still love you very much, but I'm not willing to share anymore.

I'm sitting in a little town called Sucre in the eastern Andes of Bolivia. It is very quaint. The more I travel there are many things I miss about you, one of which is your insistence on controlling every aspect of your citizens' lives. As I ventured out into the streets tonight I was overcome by the auto exhaust spewing out of every motorized vehicle on the roads. Disgusting. My lungs rebelled and my brain instantly ached. I joked about emissions tests and remembered what a pain in the ass it was to wait in that line and get my car hooked up to a tube and then pay out the butt, but well, thanks for that.

As I travel around I get a lot of shit for being from Estados Unidos (did you know that was your name in Spanish?), BUT I always defend you! My first response is, yes, we have our flaws, but seriously people - WHO you gonna call when you need something? I know our military is ridiculous and needs a serious overhaul, but so does every government thing you have. Don't get me started on education. You think I'm ever going to return to you and teach 37 kids in on class? You smoking some of that crack that you've been importing for years.

I have some big decisions coming up in the next few years. Do I stay or do I go? I have to say that I'm leaning towards staying gone. I'll still love you, but you can't have any more of my measly salary... Maybe you can borrow some more from China...