Time to fill it up

I am realizing, although I think I've known for a while, that I can go 1000's of miles around the world and see lots of shit only to realize that I just don't feel like I belong here, on earth. How do I wake up every day and make it meaningful? Why do I feel the great pull to do that? Why can't I just enjoy the wastefulness of life? Why can't I celebrate those small accomplishments without thinking about the HUGE pile of stuff we still have yet to conquer. I have been feeling like a waste of a teacher for a while. All my planning, excitement, thrown out the window because my kids are blankly staring at me with their stoned eyes. I don't know what to do. I am at a loss. What job, purpose, could I possibly have that would help me see that the world isn't turning to shit. 

A homeless, drunk kid ran out into oncoming traffic on my way home from school today. No one uses their horn here, but my Dominican training helped me slam on my horn, barely missing the backside of the kid who looked about 14. 

I know I'm supposed to think "Oh my gawd, my kids are all going to college, how awesome", but what I really think is oh crap, my kids are going to be that homeless drunk kid running out into traffic during rush hour, and my stupid ass physics class is just contributing to this downward spiral. 

I wake up every day because I believe that we can make a difference. That if we put our heads together and look at reality that we can help. The glass if half empty people, the only way we can fill it back up is to recognize that it is half gone. Walking around with that stupid half full mentality is hindering our progress. Let's see the half empty and start the process of figuring out how to fill it. What are you going to wait for the glass to be totally empty before you come up with a plan? Yeah, that's what I thought.

I was thinking about Dave Matthews and his lyrics and how meaningful they are to change, waking up, making a difference. He has sold millions of records, people all around the world listen to his music, do you think he feels like a failure, that things are not better? That people just blindly go through their day worrying about what latte they'll order?