Wallflower tolerance memory deletion

Two things happened recently that have left me in a bit of a funk. I have a fantastic life and I'm super excited about my decision to move home, but I can't help but feel a bit down right now.

On Friday Marc Elliot came to speak at our school. He is a 27 year old man that only has 4 feet of small intestine and no large intestine left and struggled with Tourette's syndrome until a few years ago when he "rewired" his brain to stop scratching the "itch" he felt so strongly. His purpose now? He has become a recognized speaker on tolerance. He has recently won awards and has been traveling around the US talking to people, very bluntly, about his afflictions and the gift of tolerance. Here's a clip of Marc...

His talk was great. He is a handsome young man, overflowing with charisma, and he's brutally honest. His message... you don't have time to talk to everyone you meet for 30 minutes to find out their story, so just live and let live. You deserve to live your life and so does everyone else. 

So what's my problem? Well, I had to look in the mirror. Directly at that clear reflection that I have very little tolerance for. In fact, what came out in his talk was that many times we are so judgmental of others because of our judgements of ourselves. 

It got me thinking about how I feel like I struggle with tolerance. I can be super judgmental, and I am harder on myself than I could possibly be on anyone else and I don't want to do that anymore. 

Ok, so that message was now stuck in my head for the weekend. My big plans were to read and relax and at the last minute I was able to jump on a trip to a beach condo with some friends. Perfect. 

I brought a book that I lugged all over Costa Rica because it was highly recommended by many people, mostly students, but other teachers too... "The Perks of Being a Wallflower." When I'm in my own house I get stuck doing other stuff instead of reading, so this beach condo was going to be my book sanctuary. Saturday after beach time I sat down and started devouring the book. For the first few hours I kept thinking that I didn't care about Charlie that much and this feels like it's going to be another "Catcher in the Rye" for me. (I freaking hated that book). And then I kept reading and reading and it got sad. Really sad. Depressingly sad. 

The combination of tolerance and of wallflowers is spinning in my brain. Have you seen "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? I want that right now.