Grey Street

Despite the looming rainstorm I decided to put on my hiking boots, weigh down my backpack and head to the park. Rainy season is upon us and the park is deserted in the overcast afternoons, so as I was walking up and down a set of stairs, zoned out, listening to my headphones, I spotted a doggie laying in the grass. He was white with tan spots and seemed to be enjoying the quiet. I minded my own business and kept up my stair workout.

On the next stair summit I noticed a black, long legged, skinny pup bouncing around bothering the lounging pooch. The next thing I know the pups are running around and approach me so I reach down to pet them. The joyful play begins immediately and I have found two new friends. After a few minutes I go back to my stairs and upon each top step check up on the pups.

I decide to head back towards my end of the park and realize that the black pup is bouncing around me in circles. Oh, good a walking companion. I head further away from our spot and start wondering how far this pup will go. Her fur is so soft and although she's skinny, she appears to be in good health. She is walking right by my side, in a true Cesar Milan moment. I am all smiles.

The sprinkles start to increase their intensity and I decide it's time to say goodbye to the pup and head home. I turn a corner and she's there. I stop and she stops. I speed up and she speeds up. Shit, how am I going to shake her? I try talking to her in Spanish and then English. I tell her to go, stay, anything. Shit.

I have to cross a super busy road to get to my house from the park. A road that is a death wish, really, and each day requires some luck and quick thinking to get across. I am starting to feel sick to my stomach. What is she going to do? Is she a park dog? Most street dogs will follow you to a certain point and then just turn around. Why isn't she turning around?

I scold her one last time, turn my back to her and dart across the street, all the while chanting, "please don't cross the street, please don't cross the street, please don't cross the street." I have not looked back once and I'm about to turn a corner to head to my house when here comes this long legged crazy black pup. My heart sinks. How in the hell did she make it across that street? I can barely make it and I have a frontal lobe. Why, why, why. My heart is now in my stomach and I feel miserable. What am I supposed to do?

I reach the gate to my complex, open the door, sneak in, and there she is staring at me on the other side of the fence. I am crushed and now I'm sobbing like a child. Sobbing in the rain.

I immediately call my parents, they'll understand, but no one is home. I stare out my deck and sulk, wondering what I'm supposed to do. Is this a sign? Are there signs? Am I supposed to take a risk? I feel empty.