The spirit

My 7th grade language arts colleague assigned her kids to write their Christmas Story. Well, one student couldn't think of anything to write, so he interviewed me about my story...

“CHRISTMAS IS STUPID”

-Lisa Yemma-

The first reason that

Christmas is the dumbest event ever

Is because it is very stressful because everyone buys gifts

But then you have to buy them gifts,

Also, Everyone wraps all their presents

Just so that the wrapping paper can be torn apart

And it's not like the wrapping paper is doing us any favors

All wrapping paper does is pollute our world

When someone rips up wrapping paper

You can almost hear the pollution

Wrapping paper can't even be recycled

Then there are the people

who must for some reason have a dead tree

in their living room

Like you are cutting down a tree so it can

Stand in your living room and make a mess

Trees are like small children

And then there are those people

Who get fake dead trees

Fake dead trees are pretty much fake small children

Who wants a fake small child?

When Christmas rolls around

People buy people so much useless stuff

People like post pictures of all their

Presents, Food, and Decorations

And then there are like

#ChristmasTime

I would be like

#WastingAllMyMoney

Or

#BuyingMySecondCousinsSonLegos

Or

#UnnecessaryUseOfMoneyAndHashtag

And then you spend YOUR money

On a nice present

That the person uses like once

I’m just saying why even buy a present

If the present is going to be a RC car

That the kid uses once

And then tries to get it to fly off a ten foot ledge

And suddenly there goes your present

Half the presents people get

People don’t actually want

Christmas is the season of JOY

Hah sych

Christmas is the season of pooping

I mean like sure there is a lot of good food

But that just means that you gain like three pounds

And then every day you spend at least thirty minutes on the toilet

Because there is so much food

Which brings me to my next complaint

Waste

Not like the poop waste

No like the bad for the environment waste

And not just that but like food waste

Sure the mass amount of food

Is nice, But people throw away so much food

That or you just have two weeks of leftovers.

And then you have to clean up

Everything

Wrapping paper (#Wasteful)

Food

Dishes

Trees (#small_children)

Your relationships

Right Relationships

They tend to fracture

Over christmas dinner when people start to talk

Religions or Politics

And finally the worst part

CHURCH

Sure it's Jesus birthday

But cant we just go

“HAPPY B-DAY JESUS”

And then be done

Since when does Jesus want us to sing

We could just abandon Church

Or

WE COULD ABANDON CHRISTMAS

YAHHHH