Repeating history - does that sound like a good idea to you?

2017 in the United States of America and one of the many current conversations about Science is Data Rescuing. Data Rescuing. How do we care for scientific data? Just let that sink in for a minute. 

As a science teacher, I encourage my students to visualize the lives of the historical scientists we study and read about. I remind my kids that we only know what we know when we know it. Science is about collecting data, analyzing that data, and figuring out relationships between the data. Are scientists wrong? Of course, all the time, and how do they handle the new data that shows that the relationships they analyzed aren't really what they thought? They CHANGE their claims. Science is ever evolving, ever changing, morphing as we find more data, as technology enhances our ability to "see" the world. 

It wasn't so long ago that people thought that sicknesses were because people were possessed with the devil. In a world before microscopes, there was no way to imagine microscopic organisms, never mind these microbes causing disease. 

Science is the human mind's way of explaining natural phenomenon. Science is different from religion because science is based on evidence, AND changes with new evidence. Science does not involve faith in the unknown, but faith in a process, a logical, sequential, mathematical process. 

Math is the language of the Universe. Whether you think you are "good" at math or not, you are. Your brain evolved to notice patterns. Math is patterns. 

In Galileo's time, in Newton's time, in Mendel's time, in Darwin's time, there were people trying to explain the world through the logical processes of science. We excuse the push back because "those" people didn't know. They didn't have enough exposure to knowledge. Education wasn't accessible. Information was filtered as a small group of leaders saw fit. 

How, how? How have we gone backwards? How has the citizens of the US allowed a small group of leaders to decide that science data, and access to science data should be filtered? How have we allowed this small group to decide what is "true", not based on data, but based on greed? We have allowed greed to filter how we not only see the world, but live our lives, and how we make decisions. Does this small group really think that a world with more coal is preferable to exploring how our Sun's energy can be harnessed? 

I see greed, but I don't understand greed. Homo sapiens will not survive as individuals. Homo sapiens are community organisms. We need groups, a tribe, collaboration. We are now the Divided States of America, and unless we want to be a community again, we will collapse.

Just another day, and...

Today one of my coworkers died. Cancer. Just 60 years old.

I am a introvert in an extrovert world. I heard the news, and my first instinct was to get my dogs, and go for a hike. Find the forest. Feel fresh air, sun, dirt.

You know what I did? I stayed at school. I listened to your children. I consoled their tears. I gave them space, and then asked what they needed. We talked, we worked. I stayed.

It's my job. It's my job to stay with your children, to not leave, to be there. It is my job to be a content expert, a behavioral psychologist, a mediator, a mentor, a voice of reason, a comedian, an inspiration.

How much is that worth to you?

Ask yourself this as we near election time. In all this mess, where do our Presidential candidates stand on Education. Do you know? Are there local laws that need to be/should be passed that will support your schools. Remember, that even if you choose private or charter schools, not everyone has the luxury. Or maybe you don't even have kids, or your kids are grown, well, John Green sums it up best...

Please do your homework and ensure that the future of our world is ready for that responsibility.

This is it

Saturday I was walking into the grocery store, when I saw a pregnant woman with her groceries packed in plastic bags from the store. What?!? This woman, who is about to leave a HUMAN behind on Earth, doesn't even care enough to bring reusable bags to the store?

A colleague at work buys single use, plastic water bottles to drink out of.

Cigarette butts litter my street.

Packaging is out of control, especially at Trader Joes.

Based on my anecdotal evidence, I've developed a hypothesis.

Hypothesis: There is an inverse correlation between a person's belief in afterlife and their views on taking care of the environment. The stronger the belief in a god/afterlife/heaven, the less they care about taking care of the environment.

Reasoning: The reasoning is simple. If you believe that there is some place to go after you die, you aren't worried about the state of the Earth. If you don't believe in an afterlife of any sort, then this is it. This is your life. This is your Earth. You've got one chance. All living organisms have one chance. You are a part of the chance.

Evidence: I'll admit that I haven't surveyed a large sample of people (I wish someone would). My evidence is based on observations. I know a few pious individuals, and what I've witnessed is those are the people that buy water in plastic. I don't live in Flint, so there is no reason to be buying water that some company has taken from a tap, bottled in toxic plastic, and now is profiting from.

The other day I was minding my own business in my home, when 8 marked police cars flew by my front window, followed by an unmarked car, an ambulance, fire truck, and then the ghetto bird (police helicopter) began circling. The neighbors came out and we all congregated at the end of the block, looking down at the chaos. My elderly neighbor, who is extremely religious, and has written and published books on god/religion, came over to my yard. He's a quiet, peaceful, gentle man. We stared down at the flashing lights and I asked him how he's managed to stay so positive about living in such a crazy world. He comment - I'm paraphrasing: "I have hope of a great life in Heaven."

So, wait. The idea of going to heaven, excuses you from taking action now?

And then there's my atheist friends. People who believe that this is it. Our time on Earth IS the point. Those are the people carrying around reusable bags, going to yoga, refilling water bottles.

"Gotta do much more than believe, if we really want to change things.
Gotta do much more than believe, if want to see the world change." - DMB (Gaucho)

"Please Wake Up" -DMB

Brain Vomit

I've been trying to mentally digest something for a few weeks and as of this moment, I'm not even past the chewing stage. Mental chewing.

One of my closet friends, that I've had for a LONG time, 25 years, shared her most recent raise with me.

We were sitting at the park, just hanging on a bench, chit chatting, like long time friends do, when she came out with the statement -

"My raise this year is $bleeeeepppp"

When I heard the number, I choked down a bit of spit and sat with that number in my head. Then I went home, and that's when the mental chewing began.

You see - her raise - her raise - is MORE THAN MY YEARLY TAKE HOME SALARY.

I don't mean to yell, but all this mental chewing has me out of sorts.

I know, I know, I picked this profession knowing the salary, but holy hell, when the scenario was presented as such, I mentally flipped, choked and wanted to barf.

What kind of world do we live in where a banker makes more than a teacher?

Don't you want your kids to have a kick ass teacher that rocks their universe into inspiration? You'll say, yes, you always do.

Ashamed, you should feel ashamed

I just got my property tax bill in the mail. I knew that it was in my mortgage payment, but I still felt a little hesitant to open the statement, thinking that it would be in the thousands; my prediction was $4000. It's been a while since I owned a house. What do I know?

So I opened the bill and for the year my property tax is - you ready for this- $808 freaking dollars. WHAT?? Then on the statement was a notice saying that 59% of property taxes goes to our public school district. So what you're trying to tell me is that out of the entire year of property tax, $476 dollars goes to public education??? And people are complaining??

Now granted, I do live in a little house in a ghetto neighborhood, but it's what I can afford and I'm assuming that those people who choose to live in big houses in the ritz can afford that luxury and the higher rate in taxes.

So I was thinking. Ok, so you have one kid and a house. For 180 days a year, from approximately 8 am to 3 pm (some parents drop their kids off at 7 am, I know, I am there, and kids stay after, so I'm rounding to 7 hours, even though you know it's more like 8-9), your child is in a reasonably safe and secure environment, not only being watched after, but actually educated, by educated people, with college degrees, professionals? Let me get this straight... you are getting full service on your kid. Care, protection, and an academic environment, not to mention character education, bullying prevention, homework help during my lunch and after school, all that for $2.64 per DAY!  A half a latte? At 0.38 cents per hour and my 28 students in a class, that is less than 11 buck per hour per teacher. But you see, we make more than that, so where does the money come from? How are we supposed to pay qualified professionals, update technology and provide a positive learning environment for your kid? You'll spend $5 on a freaking coffee, but you're complaining about the cost of taxes that support your child's school?

Now, just think about the families with multiple children.

I don't even have kids, but guess what... actually, I think John Green says it best:

Fight the self serving norms

I have always, as far back as I can remember, had a strong relationship with nature. I've also had this strong sense of altruism to dedicate my energy to supporting what is here, now, and to preserving what really matters. Humanity is dependent on our connection to nature and yet...

Someone sent me this video recently and THIS is it. This is why I didn't have children. Not because I'm out of the norm, or don't want to be normal, but because I see the bigger picture and until we step up and fix ourselves, we have no right bringing kids into this mess.

If you take up space and have mass, then you matter

Bright flash

Pop

Pop pop pop pop

Midnight in the 'hood

2 shaking pups

Have you noticed an

Inverse

Relationship 

Between sensibility and

Income?

It's not about color, race, religion, gender,

It's about the notion that you can

Make a difference. 

What is the formula to sell you,

No, I'll just give it to you,

What's the formula, so that you realize that you

Make a difference. 

It's time and I don't know how much 

Longer

I can just stand by and watch you

Ruin the world 

Stop

You matter

We all matter

It's just a collection of matter. 

'Hood life, part 1

The thing about living in the 'hood is that the laughter/play screaming of kids is followed by a foul mouthed mother, and I use the word "mother" lightly, yelling in her rasping cigarette stained scratched up voice for the kids to shut the eff up and stop this, don't do that, get out, you are an idiot.

I sit on my back porch and wonder what chance the kids will ever have when they are barked at all day by a trashy person that just so happened to have given birth to them. I send positive vibes in their direction, willing the kids to seek solice in school and become readers and problem solvers that don't just want to spew out a bunch of offspring but want to, if they so desire, raise a kid, bring them up, not down. 

I feel like an old lady sitting back there. I suppose I am. 

It can't be THAT bad...

So, Saturday morning I got a message from a guy, let's call him Lester, on this online dating site that I've signed up for. It's a free site, and beggars can't be choosy, but he seemed like a decent enough guy. My age, mentioned geology and in a text asked me if I knew what a baculite is. Um, yes, ok, this looks promising. His online photos are of him in road bike spandex gear, which is weird, but at least he cares about himself, right? He also listed himself as 6'4" and for a short, wimpy girl I sure am obsessed with height.

We texted a few times and the inevitable, can I have you phone number comes up, so we exchanged numbers and set up a "date" for that evening. I'm really picky about how far I'll drive for anything, so when he suggested a bar within walking distance to my house I was pleasantly surprised.

I called my mother and told her that I was going out with a stranger and that if I didn't call to wish her a Happy Mother's Day that he actually is a serial killer and to send someone to get Fresa.

In the 20 minutes it took me to shower and gussy up I started feeling that sick to your stomach, what am I doing, feeling. Just being a silly old lady, I suppose, so I mustered up the guts and walked down.

Apparently Lester was just finishing up a business meeting, so when I walked up he was sitting with another guy, let's call the friend Carl. I knew that I wasn't attracted to Lester from his photos, but you never know, right? You can't judge a book by it's cover?

I should have judged a book by it's cover.

Well, I sat down on the same side of the booth as Lester and across from Carl, who btw, was much more "my type" than he was, but I digress.

So Lester tells Carl to fill me in on their meeting and Carl starts to drone on and on about starting a company that makes miniature plastic toys for adults. Kind of like train set stuff, but with other themes. WHAT?? What the hell? What grown up wants miniature toys? My eyes started to glaze over and to avoid falling out of the booth I made the mistake of asking my "date" what his role was.

MISTAKE, for Lester began his soliloquy of his interest in WWII airplanes and before you know it he was showing me old airplane pictures on his phone. Describing the paint jobs, who flew them, detailing me on the missions...

In my head I was already scheming on how to get out of there. What the hell. Hi, nice to meet you, now let me talk on and on about shit that NO GIRL would ever care about. Huh, no wonder, right? I suppose the same could be said for me...

As the weirdness of having a 3rd person was becoming more obvious, he says to Carl, hey about that other thing we talked about, I'll take you up on it. So Carl takes out his wallet and gives him 40 bucks. I must have had a inquisitive look because he then proceeds to tell a long drawn out story about loosing his ATM and not having any money for our "date".

His friend left and I went to the other side of the booth and that's when I was fully immersed in hell.

He proceeds to tell me a story of exchanging phone numbers with a girl and her finding his address and just showing up at his house. Yeah, don't think I came right home and reverse searched myself.

The conversation was awkward and creepy and only getting worse. Adding fuel to the flame, the waitress never ever came to the table, not in 40 minutes, so I stretched out my arms, and said, "well, since I'm apparently not getting a drink, I'm going to leave." He sucked back and said, "your leaving???"

"Yes" I said. "Nothing that you've said interests me. Good luck on your project, but I am not interested in it."

Then I left...

Hocus Pocus

I'm pretty sure I was supposed to be a witch. At least that's what I told myself growing up with a brown blotch in my eye.

Growing up I was called Husky, being made fun of in elementary school creates a thick bitchy skin and a bitter distain for yourself. I even look worried in this photo, a constant state of worry, avoiding eye contact so that conversation won't come up. 

I don't think about it. The colors. Then I do. Then I wonder why. Heterochromia. Sectoral heterochromia, actually.  To be fair it is common in dogs and uncommon in humans. Genetic, injury, I don't know. I just know that I thought I should have some special powers or something. I mean why would I have a blotch like that unless I could put evil spells on people, or maybe good spells. I could have been a good witch, if the damage hadn't already been done.

hashtag reality

As I sit here burning coal so I don't freeze to death I reflect on reality.

pods of homogenousity

I would like to know where in your life, in the non school world, are we heterogeneously mixed? Like, don't you have a job that other people chose and by that default don't you have something in common? Doesn't your job require you to have a basic level of reading and writing and by that default aren't you a bit homogenous? Look around your office tomorrow? How different do people look? Where do you grocery shop, who's there with you? And, don't misunderstand me here, I'm not talking about color, sex, race, I'm talking about the bipolar, schizophrenic, who thinks he was a dragon in his past life. Is he at your work? Would you come in contact with that person at all in your routine?

I got to thinking as I spent more hours tweaking the physics exam and then more hours on top of that writing a modified exam. Schools are mixing kids at extreme, obnoxious levels, like a kid that doesn't read at all, not even the word "even", to a kid at 9th grade level reading. The 9th grade reader didn't go to school to be a teacher, yet, so it is not only unfair, but unethical to say, oh sit the nonreader next to the proficient reader and the proficient reader will help him. What? Who came up with that plan. Oh, I know, a system that wants to cut corners and save money. Let's mix the kids, to pump up class sizes because kids are mixed in life, right? Right? Are they? When is the last time you hung out with someone who can't read? Where is that kid going to go? Would you say that your life is spent mostly with people you have something in common with? Don't you choose your activities based on what you like, like the rest of the world and therefore you find yourself with people that you are like instead of not like.

What is the rationale? I see that we aren't sending kids to mental institutions, but instead to classrooms, but it is hard for me to see the big picture. Especially since I drive by the homeless shelter twice a day, every day and I see that the lines and line of people are not well. Did they go to high school and get shoved in a stupid physics class, which did nothing to help them cope with the blunt world that awaits them. Am I just contributing to this crooked system?

I did modify the exam and I think the Newton's Laws questions are more accessible now, but who cares?

It's all perspective, this "reality"

All whiny bitchiness aside, it's -1 Fahrenheit (-18 Celsius) outside and I don't know how to function. Just stepping out into that kind of cold starts a freeze reaction of your boogers and don't even think about gasping, because that deep breath will make you cough up coldness. It seems that cold weather gear is concentrated around your core, but what about my poor legs? I turn into a zombie because the thought of bending my legs and touching my pants is horrifying.

To add to all this, now I have a cute little puppy that should not be putting her paw pads on -1 degree pavement. Her silly little dew claw is making it hard for her boots to stay on her front feet. Today I have to solve that problem because both she and I will go mad if we don't get outside for a while.

The 10 day forecast is a bit brighter than this cold snap that has snapped me into reality. We have 40's predicted by the end of the week. Wow, 40, two years ago 40 would have terrified me and now I'm thinking about how toasty I would feel if it would just get to 40!

Seeing the bad in good

This is the first time I've heard this existential bummer explanation, and I connect with this idea fully. I am the bummer side. I see a beautiful garden, feel love, notice the good and immediately think about the gone-ness. I see the dark side, the buts in situations. The weather is perfect today. Yeah, but... I do want to hold on tighter, but I also want to run away. I do notice the amazement in the world and then the horror. I do try to keep the thoughts to myself, but sometimes they come rushing out because I can't believe that no one is thinking what I'm thinking. You know how much this little pooch face Fresa means to me and yet I do think about her being gone, the sadness that I will feel. There is this melancholy in feeling love. I am filled with love and yet my heart is heavy from sadness.

The thing is, before watching the video I really felt that I was the only one that feels this. I am usually the only one to voice the other side and it usually causes discomfort. It's not like I wake up every morning deciding the be half empty. Sometimes I think I'm a glass half empty person because I'm ready for this all to be over with. I'm ready for that moment when all is recycled. It sounds dramatic and melancholy, but really, it's just how my brain works.

Many of my students self medicate and apparently in my first period I have three kids that are in a diversion program. I'm not sure, but it sounds like this is a class that kids take when they've been caught using drugs and alcohol multiple times. I don't want my kids to use, but the thing is, I get it. I get why they would want to avoid reality and live in a delusion. One girl told me today that she is smarter, faster and more productive when she's high and I told her, of course you think that, you are high and delusional, your reality isn't real. It just isn't. Real reality can suck bad, even when it's good.

Oh the joys of teaching

Why is it that the relationship between importance of job and salary are inversely related?

I just spent 4 hours OF MY OWN TIME grading tests for YOUR future generation. FUCK. Right now I hate you and society for creating such a fucked up education system, but then I hate myself even more for being a part of this completely dysfunctional system. Are you seriously still sitting there passing laws so that people with meaningless jobs, like getting rich people richer are getting paid exponentially more than a person that is keeping your kid safe all day? Safe AND learning? You don't like how the school system is, well no shit.

We're overworked with completely unreasonable expectations place upon us and severely underpaid. I guess it's good that I have to work at home every night because I couldn't afford to do much else. You can take your head out of the huge hole you have it in if you think teachers work even remotely close to 8 hours a day. Nope, it's more like 10 - 12 and thats just IN the building. You want to count my at home hours? That's ok, I'll adjust my crappy attitude before tomorrow morning when I see your kids that you let stay up late messing with the internet and fed toxic snacks so now they are not only obese, but giving themselves diabetes. Did you know that I'm probably gonna outlive your kid? Scary, huh. 

What day is it?

I don't even have a TV, but somewhere along the way I've seen this commercial and every Wednesday for the past 3 I wake up, get in the shower and think "huuuuuummmmpppp dddaaaayyyyy"

A months worth of cookies, actually 35 days.

When you live in a 3rd world country you pick up some strange habits. Going to the grocery store has always been a chore for me. I don't like shopping because I don't like cooking. Well, at least in the US you can go to the store, walk down the isle and buy what you usually buy. Not in the 3rd world. Going to the grocery store is like russian roulette. You never know what you're going to get. The worse place I've been? Bolivia. We all swore that what was on the shelves was just whatever got crammed into the container ship and slowly made it's way South. There were mac and cheese boxes that when you buy don't expire for 5 years and in Bolivia they were going to expire in a few weeks. Dinged cans, old packaging, Halloween candy in January. What happens is that when you do go to the store and find something you like you end up buying the whole shelf. Laura did this with diet coke. We heard a rumor that the special part at the coke plant broke so when we shopped she bought the entire shelf. Good thing too because diet coke went missing for a while.

In the DR it was hummus. You never knew if the store would have it and what kinds.

It is so weird to be back in a place that just stocks their shelves. Unfortunately I've picked up this bad habit of hoarding products when I find ones I like.

This is what my cabinet looks like right now.

I found these cookie/snack things that I like and have been using as my mid morning snack and the only place I can find them in Whole Foods and the one that is convenient to me is always packed in a pain to get in and out of so I got online and look what I did... I ordered $91 in cookies and had them delivered right to my door. Free shipping, I might add.

Santo Raton, Dominican Republic

I've actually heard people say that they like this city. In fact, there is this expat website where I saw a person post that they came to visit and they liked it so much they want to move here. I didn't reply, or give my opinion, because I am fully aware that I'm a bit jaded. Wallowing through piles of trash isn't my idea of a nice city. Now that I have Fresa to walk I am even MORE aware of the trash because she, of course, is on the constant look out for good trash to eat. Do you know how many chicken bones are on the streets here??? Ugh.

So this morning, a nice calm, quiet typical Sunday morning, a friend and I decided to walk to the grocery store. I'd been up since 5:30 am and had already ventured into the streets for a puppy walk. For groceries I'll leave Fresa at home. Ok, so on with it. We're walking down the street and trying to avoid as much trash as we can when I stop dead in my tracks at the sight of this...

Oh, Santo Domingo, seriously? Strangely enough this pobrecito raton wasn't even squished. He looked like he was gorging on trash, started to walk away and dropped dead in this tracks, which also happened to be in the middle of the sidewalk. I wonder how long that rat will lay there? Usually dead dogs stay for weeks. I guess it's hard to have a city dead animal picker upper when you don't even have a sewer system.

Colombian buses

Spending 33 hours on buses in a 3rd world country is enough to make even the most positive person a bit jaded, and well, you know that I wasn't this year's model positive personality winner. Let's see, what can I share... for one thing the vomit ride is alive and well. I briefly took off my headphones to the chorus of gags and hacks of bile being deposited into flimsy plastic bags. How about the cloth bags with top zippers that held roosters being shuttled to their fame, or death, at the cock fight? The lady with her seat reclined into my lap so she could accommodate her caged birds was not too pleasant. The one Paying lady with her litter of children that has to ride on her lap even though a paying customer can't really utilize the seat next to her. Don't even get me started on the smells... Oh Colombia - you will forever remind me of piss and vomit. Now I'm sure that for the total trips I spent less than $100 USD. I can't brag about the distances too much since a lot of the roads weren't real roads, but narrow dirt and rock paths barely wide enough for one car never mind cars traveling in opposite directions. My favorite part is that the bus stops whenever someone needs it to stop, so the "express" bus is just an adjective to make gringos pay a bit more.

Don't worry there are more adventure updates to come! Stay tuned for the latest shannagans of Lisa and her excellent decision making....

Time to wake up

For over 7 hours a day your kids are with teachers. These under appreciated  overworked, disrespected people smile and listen to your kids while your kids say stupid, irrational things. We create safe, positive environments where your kids can take risks as learners. We put up with your overbearing requests, useless paperwork, no bathroom breaks and 30 minute working lunches so that we can contribute positively to the next generation.

I want the world to be better.

Teachers want the world to be better.

You pretend to know what teachers do all day. You criticize and complain about summer breaks and planning periods when you know nothing. You are bitter about something, I don't know why. When is the last time you were in a classroom? Shut your mouth and head to a school right now. Follow a teacher for a day. Go home with her and see what she does. Yes, there are teachers that suck. Just like there are doctors that suck and lawyers that suck and people in your office that suck, but can we for once focus on the teachers that are working their asses off for your kid?

We act like martyrs and let schools pack kids in one room. Kids with needs that are virtually imposible to meet. While you are divorcing your husband we are dealing with your child acting like an ass, and trying all known strategies to support an environment of caring and learning. We're doing this all day and into our own personal lives because we care about the future. We want the next generation to be better than the previous one.

Guess what?

We are failing.

We are failing the world and you want to know why? Because we are martyrs. Instead of sticking up for what we know is right... smaller classrooms, more planning time, more support staff, appropriate resources, opportunities for professional development... instead of demanding what would save the system, we just continue to teach. Wake up, parents. Your kids are in a failing system for over 7 hours a day and you are doing nothing about it. You are spinning your wheels so you can buy a bigger car, a new TV, designer shoes, and your kids lives are at stake. You are to blame. We are pathetic, I know. I've tried to stick up for the kids, myself, but I get labeled as a pessimist and complainer. We need to stop the madness, but we are weak and too focused on the kids to be the change that needs to happen. The change needs to come from you, the people with the money and powerful jobs. I have left teaching in the US and won't even consider moving back because I can't make a livable wage as a teacher - pathetic. I love your kids, but I can't grade tonight, because I have a second job. I can't grade during the day because I'm bogged down with endless worthless meetings and piles of useless paperwork. Oh and Johnny won't do his work, bring a pencil, sit in a seat, but I have to keep him in my class while he ruins the learning environment for every other kid.

This is an emergency 911 situation. The system is broken, what will it take to wake you up?